Ever since I gave notice at work… My mind. Cannot. Stop. Racing. With ideas and thoughts and instances and then more ideas and thoughts and things. It is crazy, I mean crazy. But it’s almost as if the cork has been stuck in my bottle of wine for a long time. And I just now figured out how to slowly pull it out – in turn releasing aroma and aerating this beautiful red wine… to breath and now come to its full potential. That wine, yah, the wine in that bottle, it’s my life. Now, granted I know a few things about wine, specifically red wine. I get that it ages in the bottle and gets even better. So realistically, if I was using this analogy according to that fact, I should stay in the bottle because my life as I knew it would of gotten better as I got older…. But for purposes of this particular comparison the red wine does age in the bottle but needs to come out for one to fully experience it and to be enjoyed. By quitting my job I have allowed myself to realize my potential. That there is something to be said for just sitting and waiting for something to happen vs. going out and making it happen. And in this case that is what I am doing, making it happen. So, with that in mind I think, that is why my head is racing - with all of these things. Ideas for random businesses, the possibilities of going back to school, my future and everything that awaits me…. It’s kind of cool.
Not that you all want to know my plan… wink, wink, J but here it is. My goal is to go back to school for Marriage and Family Therapy. I have thought about this for a long time. I have considered options, almost gone back to school to become an English teacher, worked in the event planning field and once again have pondered the idea of becoming and MFT. So, what has been stopping me? I have been scared – to not have a job in this hard economic time and to think about going back to school has been weird after being out for three years, and to take on a new challenge. But I am looking so forward to it now- I just can’t help but feeling that this is the right thing to do and the right direction to travel in.
I feel weird putting this out there for all of you readers (all 7 of you) to know, but it’s good for me to say it out loud, to hold myself to something and to commit. I have had such a hard time in many avenues in life, committing. Granted, I think I have been a wonderful wife, a good friend, a great daughter and a diligent employee – I have never taken a step like this before. To commit to myself and to my future and to my goals. It feels really good I must say.
For all of you that are reading this do something that you have been waiting to do. Stop making excuses and go for it. Because we only have now – after all, what are you waiting for….?
By the way I have been following this blog for sometime now. I read David’s most recent post today - http://www.jumpdavidjump.typepad.com/, and knew that I had to put this link on my page. Make sure to go back a few posts to understand what is happening. Actually come to think about it, you will probably get it from just reading the most recent post entitled “The Eyes Never Lie”.
Happy Thursday!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I did it.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life…
When I woke up today I couldn’t get over the fact that today was the day. Within a few hours of waking, dressing, and driving to work, I was going to be jumping over my first hurdle of my new journey. And by the hurdle I mean “The change” that I have spoken about in my past few posts-
Leaving my job…
The past few months of my life have been eye opening. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, my goals, and what I want for me and Michael. I realized that sometimes you have to take the road less traveled, challenge yourself, and do the hard thing as opposed to taking the easy way out. I have taken the easy way out many a time before. But this time things have to be different.
Being in the working world for the past three years has made me realize the following… nothing is perfect, you can love your job so much but there will always be something or SOMEONE you don’t like about it, challenging yourself is vital, being praised for doing something good is always encouraging, passing time on Facebook while getting paid to do a job is nice to a point but becomes boring when you feel you are getting up to go to work just to be on facebook – which I could do from home, I am a hard worker and deserve the chance to grow and to thrive, I sometimes underestimate myself and my abilities but know that I am stronger than I think, I come off sweet but I can bite J, and last but not least – you should never allow anyone to make you underestimate yourself or make you feel uncomfortable. There are so many more things I could write but that would take a long time…
As I was saying before, I have chosen to give final notice at my current place of work. For 2 years now, I have poured myself into this job…first willingly and then unwillingly as things became more unbearable. As I considered my current unhappiness at work between the end of last year and how I couldn’t imaging doing this forever, much alone another month or two - I had to do something. I needed to jump and take a risk.
So, that is what I did. At about 10:02 today I walked into my boss’s office and “blindsided” her with news of my impending resignation. I had over thought her reaction in my head much to my dismay. But as the day wore on the subtle hints and jabs that she made, whether intentional or unintentional is unknown, spoke volumes. The reaction that I thought I overestimated… was indeed, exactly what I had thought it would be. Condescending, backhanded and unappreciated.
But, all worth it…because, for everything that I have been through over the past couple years, I realized I am coming out the better person.
As I sit here typing to you, better yet, from work… I can’t help but smile and think that this is the right thing for me now. And despite the reaction that I got from one of my co-workers and ultimately my boss when I informed them I was leaving - I am really happy that I did what I did and jumped this first hurdle.
May this be the beginning of many open doors.
When I woke up today I couldn’t get over the fact that today was the day. Within a few hours of waking, dressing, and driving to work, I was going to be jumping over my first hurdle of my new journey. And by the hurdle I mean “The change” that I have spoken about in my past few posts-
Leaving my job…
The past few months of my life have been eye opening. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, my goals, and what I want for me and Michael. I realized that sometimes you have to take the road less traveled, challenge yourself, and do the hard thing as opposed to taking the easy way out. I have taken the easy way out many a time before. But this time things have to be different.
Being in the working world for the past three years has made me realize the following… nothing is perfect, you can love your job so much but there will always be something or SOMEONE you don’t like about it, challenging yourself is vital, being praised for doing something good is always encouraging, passing time on Facebook while getting paid to do a job is nice to a point but becomes boring when you feel you are getting up to go to work just to be on facebook – which I could do from home, I am a hard worker and deserve the chance to grow and to thrive, I sometimes underestimate myself and my abilities but know that I am stronger than I think, I come off sweet but I can bite J, and last but not least – you should never allow anyone to make you underestimate yourself or make you feel uncomfortable. There are so many more things I could write but that would take a long time…
As I was saying before, I have chosen to give final notice at my current place of work. For 2 years now, I have poured myself into this job…first willingly and then unwillingly as things became more unbearable. As I considered my current unhappiness at work between the end of last year and how I couldn’t imaging doing this forever, much alone another month or two - I had to do something. I needed to jump and take a risk.
So, that is what I did. At about 10:02 today I walked into my boss’s office and “blindsided” her with news of my impending resignation. I had over thought her reaction in my head much to my dismay. But as the day wore on the subtle hints and jabs that she made, whether intentional or unintentional is unknown, spoke volumes. The reaction that I thought I overestimated… was indeed, exactly what I had thought it would be. Condescending, backhanded and unappreciated.
But, all worth it…because, for everything that I have been through over the past couple years, I realized I am coming out the better person.
As I sit here typing to you, better yet, from work… I can’t help but smile and think that this is the right thing for me now. And despite the reaction that I got from one of my co-workers and ultimately my boss when I informed them I was leaving - I am really happy that I did what I did and jumped this first hurdle.
May this be the beginning of many open doors.
Friday, July 24, 2009
To better things.
Do you ever feel like you want to keep driving?
You know, you are on the road to work, or maybe
to a doctors appointment, or even to school, or what about your parents house and you just don't feel like making that left, or exiting the off ramp?
That is how I felt yesterday. Like I just wanted to keep driving on the 101. I did not want to exit Reseda to go to work. I just wanted to keep going, with nothing in my way. That is kind of a metaphor for my life these days. And as I drove to work yesterday, with these thoughts swirling in my head I couldn't help but recognize this resemblance between what I wanted to do and what is actually happening to me. As the weekend approaches and I realize I have little to do I am happy to be able to relax and take a couple days off. Eventhough the last few days at work have been beyond boring and have been a mini vacation within itself, as I have perused facebook, thought about future plans and made a few personal calls.
As I prepare myself for next week I look forward to the weekend and taking a step towards what I refered to in my last post as the "The Change."And then as we roll slowly into Monday I will have to mentally prepare myself to do what I have been waiting to do for a while....
You know, you are on the road to work, or maybe
to a doctors appointment, or even to school, or what about your parents house and you just don't feel like making that left, or exiting the off ramp?
That is how I felt yesterday. Like I just wanted to keep driving on the 101. I did not want to exit Reseda to go to work. I just wanted to keep going, with nothing in my way. That is kind of a metaphor for my life these days. And as I drove to work yesterday, with these thoughts swirling in my head I couldn't help but recognize this resemblance between what I wanted to do and what is actually happening to me. As the weekend approaches and I realize I have little to do I am happy to be able to relax and take a couple days off. Eventhough the last few days at work have been beyond boring and have been a mini vacation within itself, as I have perused facebook, thought about future plans and made a few personal calls.
As I prepare myself for next week I look forward to the weekend and taking a step towards what I refered to in my last post as the "The Change."And then as we roll slowly into Monday I will have to mentally prepare myself to do what I have been waiting to do for a while....
Thursday, July 23, 2009
New Roads and Such
Change is in the air. Some of you know what I mean by that - some of you don't. But, I am going to wait until the change happens to actually post the "thing" that I plan on doing. Until then I will just speak of this thing as "the change".The past few weeks of my life have been eye opening. I have grappled and thought about things that I never really pondered before.... Michael and I celebrated nine years yesterday. Nine wonderful up and down, crazy and dull, new and old, unmarried and married years. Thinking back on my life really is weird. I have been through so much with Michael - there really is not a recent time where things feel like just mine. Getting married young and doing all our growing up with one another has been a cool experience, but now I am left feeling as if I should of done some of that growing up on my own before we did it together.
But, life takes different paths and this is the one that I chose to walk down. So here I am folks on the verge of a new path and I hope it's going to be a good one. I will leave you a with a few more fabulous picture from our travels to Las Vegas with some of our good friends from this past week! Happy Thursday :)
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